#25320 Name: Anonymous   5min
>>25315
Nothing yet. My friends are all over the place these days and it might be hard to get us all together for the weekend. We'll probably just end up playing games and watching something.

>>25318
We met at uni, did the same course, and lived together for the whole 3 years. We were very close and when we started dating it was good but we ended up spending far too much time together which kinda left us with nothing outside of the relationship. We actually broke up once before but couldn't stay apart and got back together.

After uni ended we had to go long distance and she got a job. Due to some issues with family I'm living with a relative and am struggling to find a job (or do anything tbh) here. We both enjoyed seeing each other every week or other week, but in between she felt unhappy and found it draining that I had not much going on.

We were planning on moving in together in a year's time to do a master's, but she didn't want to be unhappy most of the time for a year and have the same issues living together. We just had issues living together and living apart, which there is not much either of us can do about.

We were compatible in so many ways that meant we couldn't be friends without dating, and incompatible in ways that meant it couldn't last.

Thanks anon, I appreciate talking to you about this! I hope all goes well with the art exhibition!
#25321 Name: Rain   25min
>>25317
Somewhere, we all are. Everyone doing their thing, thinking their thoughts. Living their experience of the very moment that you read this.
If youd like to, you could share yours with us.

I like it a lot, whatever it is that people share.


I visit this place, I think many others are too, as a short moment of reflection or seeding for thoughts before the next transition into tasks take place, and move on with the day.
Whatever you guys write here, affects my day, my thoughts, my feelings. I'm thankful for it.


The calm cafe jazz is still rolling in the living room, 12 meters away from me, it sounds special from far away, a bit muffled and different, as if I share someone else's experience from in there.
Outside yellow and red maple leaves blanket everything, wet with the rain that kind of stopped, kind of still going.

I just finished a small brainstorm about a zombie story, a half human half zombie experience shrouded in the shadows of a windy autumn night, warm lights and movements in the houses further up and a hunger present that drives.
It ended up leaning to some kind of inner monologue and old memories roaming in a cloudy corrupted mind driven with zombie instincts.
Maybe a history of the community and the people will weave nicely into it, as it do what a zombie does.

I was about to dive into this deeper, but put the last period into it for the moment. Work is on the schedule, I need to carry a lot of heavy up a couple of stairs to the attic, it's more of them stories and information, in stacks of pages, thousands and thousands of them. They cannot be in the gallery where they are at the moment, space need to be cleared. Then more preparations, lights and other things to set up.

I'm feeling a bit hungry too, just a little. Maybe that is the lurking creature that came to mind.
#25322 Name: Anonymous   12h
i don't quite understand the point of discord nitro. i've never seen a discord nitro thing that was compelling. all i'm thinking is "huh, so this person is someone who would pay money for their discord profile to have flashing animations on it. noted." like that's not a dig at the person in question, its just a choice i don't understand.
#25323 Name: Anonymous   13h
on second thought maybe i just don't understand discord. i am (in a way unrelated to my actual age) Too Old For This. i want to send someone a hand written letter like God intended is that so much to ask.
#25324 Name: avoid   14h
wow this has been the most suicidal ive ever been. like i just thought about killing myself as if i had no other choice like i cant just live another day or find a good reason enough to keep going.

ive always thought even if i think about doing it it doesnt mean ill go through with it because im a coward/pussy. but im not sure if i believe that anymore.

its scary. i dont want it to end this way.
#25325 Name: Anonymous   15h
>>25324
In the US? Call (877)235-4525 for the HopeLine and get some help. Suicide sucks and it doesn't have to end like that.
#25326 Name: Anonymous   15h
i’ll be praying for you, anon
#25327 Name: Anonymous   15h
The suicidal feelings never really leave. You just become dead inside instead of outside, so you can get on with your day.
#25328 Name: Anonymous   15h
>>25324
It's a little strange when you have to tell someone at a bus stop not to catch the bus.
#25329 Name: anon   1d
>>25324
I get you </3 i've attempted a few times and in those days it really feels like there's no other options at all, nothing to look forward to, and the thought of ending it consumes your mind and leaves nothing behind. it's such a nasty feeling and i'm so sorry you're going through that right now. suicide is one of the hardest things you can do, and avoiding it when you're feeling like this can be even harder, you're not a coward for it no matter the case.

the reason to live doesn't need to be at any high standard. for me, i just want to stick around long enough to play the ending to deltarune. waiting for media to release has always been the thing keeping me going, it can feel silly only living because another season of a kid's cartoon will release but sometimes that's just what you gotta do. can't find a good reason to live, then find a bad reason, find a mediocre reason. the reason could even be "I want to live long enough to see the day where i no longer feel suicidal"

I won't recommend a hotline, because it's scary to talk to them and they're likely unhelpful imo. but perhaps give Suicide: The Forever Decision
by Paul G. Quinnett a read, there's a free pdf floating around somewhere. it's not perfect, but he makes some interesting points that might help with perspective (he also makes other points that kinda pmo but it's worth a read)

from one suicidal person to another, I want the best for you